WHO ARE WE
CRIMP WRLD™ LLC IS AN ORGANIZATIONCRIMP WRLD™ LLC USED TO BE LOCATED IN NORMALVILLE UNTIL THE STORM KNOWN AS HURRICANE QUISSANDRA DEVASTATED NORMALVILLE AND ONLY NORMALVILLE
CRIMP WRLD™ LLC WAS INCORPORATED TO SHIELD MEMBERS FROM THE FINANCIAL LIABILITY OF BANKRUPTING OURSELVES FROM LOSING MILLIONS AT BLASSJASS, IN AN INCIDENT KNOWN AS THE GIGASPLURGE
ANY ALLEGATIONS MADE AGAINST CRIMP WRLD™ LLC FOR THE INVOLVEMENT IN COVERING UP THE NORMALVILLE ATROCITY ARE CURRENTLY BEING INVESTIGATED
WHO IS YARHGANG
YARHGANG IS A FUNDRAISING SUBSIDIARY OF CRIMP WRLD™ LLC, CREATED TO REGAIN THE LOSSES FROM BLASSJASSIT IS THE FIRST TAINT-HOP COLLECTIVE IN PUBLIC CONSCIENCE, LIKELY THE LAST
YARHGANG'S FIRST MIXTAPE freak. WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY, EVER AGAIN
INJURED? IS A RECORDED TEMPER TANTRUM AFTER EVERY SINGLE MEMBER FAILED THE BAR EXAM, FORCING AN OUTSOURCE OF LEGAL SERVICES
FUNNY FACTUALS
CRIMP WRLD™ LLC USED TO BE KNOWN AS GLASSSOMEONE ONCE REFERERRED TO US AS YARDBOYS AND WE THINK THAT IS HILARIOUS
ANY REQUEST TO PLAY dare. WILL MEET THE SWIFT BACKSIDE OF A SHOVEL
GLOSSARY
ENTRY | DESCRIPTION |
---|---|
Hurricane Quissandra | A Category 5 hurricane with minimum windspeeds of 350mph that supposedly wiped out all sentient life and ripped up the entire crust layer of the earth. It's a miracle the mantle didn't leak out |
Blassjass | It's blackjack. What else do you want me to say |
The Gigasplurge | Summy Caustic singlehandedly going from $2,000,000 to $45 in one game of blassjass |
The Normalville Atrocity | The common name referring to the mysterious unpublicized exodus, tragedy and crimes against humanity that occured in the destruction of Normalville, as a result of Hurricane Quissandra |
freak. | A big fuckin' mistake |
dare. | The worst song on freak. |
NONGLISH DICTIONARY
WORD | PHONETICS | DESCRIPTION |
---|---|---|
joenail | ˈjōˌnāl | A variation of the english word toenail that has human features and a job |
Saturdaqy | ˈsa-tər-(ˌ)da-kē | The 8th day of the week. Most famous for not actually fucking existing |
poonk | 'pünk | Typically combined with can to create the worst drink imaginable |
grandbrother | grand-bruth-er | The brother of one's grandnephew's dad's uncle's son's best friend |
Pungino Balls | pun-'jee-no balls | A dish that is most well known for its awful scent and horrifically salty taste |
fœnny | 'fœ-ny | having the quality of funny but it's not. It's not fucking funny you f- |
creanst | 'creen st' | the folds of your thorax adjacent to your axillae |
rint | 'rint | The collection of sogged material at the bottom of the sink |
fissed | fist | Resembling dog-like shit, arrogant, prenatal |
forehole | fôr-hōl | The hole in front of the wrist clone |
chusty | 't͡ʃə-sti' | Sexy in the way barfing into a plastic bag is kinda sexy |
Shweemu | SHwē'myo͞o | When you pet a cat's (or other animal's) head so hard you can see the whites of their eyes |
brusket | bruh-skit | A particular esoteric-like swag especially pertaining to the way an individual walks |